Marriage Counseling: Why it's a good thing to go

When you hear the words "We're going to marriage counseling." your mind probably imagines the worst case scenario between a husband and wife. We tend to associate marriage counseling with a highly dysfunctional, on the brink of divorce, hot mess of a couple. But why? Why have we created such a negative mindset about such a healthy thing? The lie: Marriage counseling is for people whose marriage is completely falling apart. The truth: Marriage counseling is for people who want a happy, healthy and functional marriage. Because you don't have to be on the brink of divorce to get some advice. (But if you ARE, marriage counseling is STILL an awesome thing!)

I was once that person who completely put off marriage counseling because my pride got in the way. I didn't want to be one THOSE couples. I had a seriously warped view of marriage counseling. I thought it was for weak couples who couldn't solve their own problems, but it turns out that it's WAY harder to sit in your issues than it is to go get help and fix them. Take it from someone who knows, small issues only stay small for so long. Here are my 3 reasons for going to marriage counseling...

1) It Creates Accountability - I know for some people this can be hard. I tend to be one of those people who wants all my baggage to stay a nice little secret. The thought of telling a complete stranger your deepest secrets can be intimidating. Asking for help is very hard for me, but when I finally got over myself...it was amazing. It's incredible to go into counseling and have someone check up on us. It's a wonderful (and sometimes painful thing) to have someone say "You can't keep doing that and expect good results." Someone to put me in my place in love. I want to emphasize the IN LOVE part. It is NOT a counselor's job to condemn you. A good counselor is neutral and never accuses, but simply suggests and points you in the right direction. I also strongly suggest a Christian counselor if you are a believer. Having a third party there to pray with us, encourage us and give us Godly council is an amazing blessing. And one I am no longer ashamed to admit. :)

2) It's Eye Opening - Let me tell you, there is nothing more motivating than hearing the true feelings of your spouse poured out in counseling. Sometimes things are said with the safety of a counselor present, that wouldn't otherwise be said. Sometimes having your eyes opened to the true feelings underneath it all, gives you the motivation to tweak a few things.

3) It's Healthy - When you're sick, you take medicine. If you don't take medicine, the infection gets worse and you only get sicker. Marriage is similar. Sometimes a paper cut can seem minor, but if it gets infected, over time it can turn into something significant. Going to marriage counseling doesn't have to be a big significant and shameful thing. It's a healthy thing. It means that you're trying. It means that you are taking your wedding vows seriously, and you're doing all that you can to create a happy marriage. If we're being honest with ourselves - we ALL have moments in our marriages when we could use some advice from a third party. There's no shame in admitting that!

When I first started going to marriage counseling, I was very ashamed. I felt that it meant I had failed somehow. But, that was a lie from the devil. It actually meant the exact opposite. I hadn't failed. I was going to marriage counseling so that I would NOT fail, but in fact succeed in my marriage. And you know what? It has been a truly inspirational and eye opening experience. I've learned new things about my husband, and I've learned new things about myself. I've learned new ways to communicate that help us function better as a couple. And guess what? Most of the things that need tweaking are pretty simple. Not easy. But simple. We tend to over complicate things when we try to fix our issues by ourselves with no outside help.

So, if you're like me and you know that there may be a few areas in your marriage that you could use some advice on...go for it. Don't let small things evolve into big things. That's my two cents...from someone who's been there. Marriage counseling can be a game changer if you let it. :)

Must Have Monday: Orange Blossom Botanical Face Wash

Happy Monday! This week the spotlight is on one of my favorite products. Orange Blossom Botanical Facial Wash. This stuff is the bomb!

What does it do? It cleanses the skin without stripping your face of its natural oils. contains MSM to promote healthier and clearer skin, wolf berry seed to hydrate and essential oils to sooth the skin. Best of all - it doesn't contain any toxic chemicals or synthetic fragrances.

You may look at the price and wonder if such a facial scrub is worth the money. I promise you, it is...but here's a helpful tip on how to conserve your facial wash and stretch your dollar. ;)

You can find foaming soap pumps online at Amazon or abundanthealth4u.com...or you can do what I do. I go to the dollar store, buy a foaming hand soap for a buck, then take it home, pour the soap out and wash it thoroughly until all traces of it are gone, and I have a bottle for my face wash. :)

A nice companion to the Orange Blossom face wash is the Sandalwood Moisturizer Cream. I will be honest, I haven't tried this yet (I'm saving my ER points so I can get it for free)...but I hear it's equally as amazing. So, keep your eyes pealed, because it might just show up on a Must Have Monday feature. ;)

"Diet" doesn't mean healthy

We all know that one person (or maybe a few people) who have drank the diet koolaid (no pun intended), and think that they are living a super healthy lifestyle because they drink Diet Coke and eat Fat Free Ranch dressing on their salad. Wrong-o!

Diet soft drinks are loaded with false sweeteners that make you crave MORE. If it's sugar free, it's most likely made with aspartame, saccharin or sucralose AKA false sweeteners. These little guys dwell in basically anything labeled "sugar free". There is a lot of negative talk about false sweeteners and what they're capable of. In some studies they've been linked to headaches, joint pain, dizziness and weight gain. I'm no genius, but I'm pretty sure that defeats the entire point of drinking sugar free. People think they're cutting the calories and the sugar, but what they don't realize is that it actually defeats the purpose by making you crave more.

Solution: If you're a diet soda junkie and have a love for the carbonated goodness...why not consider switching to a healthy carbonated drink like Kombucha? (Find more details on Kombucha here) Or if that's a little extreme for you, there's a healthier soda choice called LaCroix. (Find their nutritional facts here) And if you're watching your sugar intake, consider the legitimately healthy alternative - organic Stevia.

Of course, the absolute best beverage option is water (and no, I'm not talking about water flavored with Mio syrup...which is once again loaded with false sweeteners), plain old regular water. If you really want to add a touch of flavor, consider some Young Living Essential Oils. Grapefruit, Peppermint, Citrus Fresh, Lime or Lemon are a few great options that will not only rock your taste buds, but they also help detox the body.

Now let's talk about the term "fat free". Did you know that fat free dressings and creamers are indeed fat free, but have more sugar than the regular options? They had to take that loss of flavor and put it back somewhere...and they did...in sugar. Sneaky sneaky. ;)

Solution: Consider using Organic Almond milk and a little bit of Organic Stevia to flavor your coffee. For your salads, try a homemade vinaigrette dressing recipe. Pinterest is full of them!

I'm no spokesperson for weight loss, as this is something I've struggled with my entire life. But what I CAN tell you is that diet sodas, fat free dressings and sugar free junk gets you nowhere. Believe me.
Let me just ask you a question...how many fit and healthy people do you know that drink diet sodas and use fat free or sugar free products? Most of the people I know who do, are over weight. Let that speak for itself.

When it comes to being healthy, we don't have to complicate it. Fruits, veggies and lean meats never gave a person crazy side effects or made them crave more food. We try so hard to make short cuts for ourselves instead of just changing our lifestyle. I'm so guilty of this. I want to take a second and encourage you to take a good long look at what is in your food. There are "buzz words" that we all hear and assume are healthy...gluten free, fat free, sugar free, whole wheat, no trans fat...to name a few. Don't just trust the buzz words listed on the cover of the box. Take that ingredient list and do some digging. You might be shocked what's hidden inside that "healthy" item you have in your pantry.

Go With Your Gut

Gut health is so incredibly important. Hippocrates once said "All disease begins in the gut." And he may have been right.

Getting to good health isn't just about a healthy digestive system. Did you know that the Gastrointestinal System can be the root cause for a variety of illnesses including brain and mental health? When we take care of our Gastrointestinal System, it can have awesome positive effects on the whole body. Taking care of your gut means boosting your immune system, and allows your body to produce the right kind of bacteria that tells your brain it's ok to feel good again.

The gut is sometimes called "the second brain". It can effect your mood, your memory and your over all health. 

So how do we take care of our gut? We nurture it with good bacteria. Here's how I take care of the gut health of my family. 

Kefir

What the heck is Kefir? It's similar to a drink-like yogurt. It's loaded with beneficial yeast and friendly probiotic bacteria. It also has valuable vitamins and minerals. Now, I'll be honest with you, I am not a big fan of Kefir on its own. My kids love it, but it's a bit tart for my taste. I prefer my Kefir in a smoothie with fresh berries and some organic Almond milk. Kefir comes in many different flavors. My favorite brand is Lifeway. You can almost always rely on Strawberry and Blueberry Kefir being in our fridge. My kids go crazy for those flavors.

Kombucha

Yes, it's another strange drink, but bare with me. ;) Kombucha is a beverage made from fermenting sweet tea with a culture of yeast and bacteria. That may sound incredibly gross, but your gut will LOVE it! 

Here is a list of benefits from drinking kombucha.

• Probiotics – healthy bacteria
• Alkalize the body – balances internal pH
• Detoxify the liver – happy liver = happy mood
• Increase metabolism – rev your internal engine
• Improve digestion – keep your system moving
• Rebuild connective tissue
• Cancer prevention
• Alleviate constipation
• Boost energy 
• Reduce blood pressure
• Relieve headaches & migraines
• Reduce kidney stones
• High in antioxidants – destroy free-radicals that cause cancer
• High in polyphenols
• Improve eyesight
• Can be applied topically to soften the skin
• Aid healthy cell regeneration
• Reduce gray hair
• Lower glucose levels – prevents spiking from eating

You can buy Kombucha at health food stores and even some grocery stores, or you can brew your own. 

Synergy is a popular brand of Kombucha, although I prefer to brew my own. (I will share that recipe with you on another blog post)

Probiotics

Life 5 by Young Living is a probiotic powerhouse. The description (taken from the Young Living website) explains just how awesome this supplement is.

"A high-potency probiotic, Life 5™ represents the culmination of years of extensive research. Life 5 builds and restores core intestinal health by providing five clinically proven probiotic strains including two advanced super strains to enhance intestinal health, sustain energy and improve immunity. Life 5 contains 10 billion active cultures and improves colonization up to 10 times."

These are just a few small ways that we build our gut health in my household. My kids don't get sick often, and when they do, it's not for very long at all. I want to make it clear that this post is not meant to treat, diagnose or cure any disease. ;) I am not a doctor, just a health conscious mama trying to make the best choices concerning the health of my family. If you have serious health concerns, please go see a doctor. 

I hope this helps you on your journey to a healthy gut. ;)

Make a plan

In my last post, I wrote about my struggle. So I thought in this post, I'd write about my solution. :)

There's a really great quote that I read last week. "Failure to plan is a plan to fail." How true that is! I read that and I felt like it slapped me in the face. If I want to succeed on my weight loss journey, I need to plan for success.

I mentioned before that I plan out my weekly meals before going to the store. I wanted to write it down and show you what this looks like. This week's meal plan looks like this:

Monday:

Breakfast: Banana Oatmeal Muffins (recipe found here)

Snack: Organic Chips and Salsa (I will be honest with you - this was a BAD idea. My go-to binge food was chips, and only giving myself a small serving was HARD. So, for my future shopping trips, chips will not be on the list! Out of sight, out of mind.)

Lunch: BLT lettuce wraps (Nitrate free bacon, organic tomatoes and a tiny bit of organic mayo on an organic romaine lettuce leaf.)

Snack: Organic Granola Bar

Dinner: Slow Cooker Stuffed Peppers (recipe found here)

Tuesday:

Breakfast: Egg in Pepper Rings (recipe found here)

Snack: Organic Granola Bar


Lunch: Ham and Egg Wrap (I fry an egg in a small skillet, put on a slice of organic cheese and a slice of nitrate free ham, roll it up and enjoy)

Snack: Homemade trail mix (I made mine with banana chips, dried wolf berries and almonds. I separated them in small servings and put them in individual sandwich bags. This prevents me from over indulging.)

Dinner: Chili

Wednesday:

Breakfast: Banana Oatmeal muffins

Snack: Cheese stick

Lunch: Quinoa Chili (recipe found here)

Snack: Trail Mix

Dinner: One Pot Chicken Burrito Bowls (recipe found here)

Thursday:

Breakfast: Omelette in a Muge (recipe found here)

Snack: Trail Mix

Lunch: Lettuce Wrap (recipe found here)

Snack: Cheese Stick

Dinner: Breakfast (nitrate free sausage and eggs)

Friday:

Breakfast: Oatmeal (Quick oats with honey, cinnamon, apple chunks and raisins)

Snack: Organic Granola Bar

Lunch: Left over Quinoa Chili

Snack: Cheese Stick

Dinner: Tacos (Made with grass fed beef and homemade tortillas)


So there's a small sample of my meal plan. It has helped me SO much! It also helps keep me from making impulse purchases at the store. When you're menu is all planned out before you go to the store, it's way easier to get in - get what you need - and get out.

Confessions of a Food Addict

I'm about to get real, ya'll. I know I mostly talk about my oily lifestyle and why I love holistic living...but today I'm going to open up to you and admit something that I've struggled with my entire life. Food.

I know some of you are reading this, and you can relate. My struggle with food has been an ongoing battle. I eat for comfort. I eat when I'm stressed. I eat when I'm bored. I eat. A lot. So, you can imagine how ironic it is to have a business that revolves around health and wellness and be over weight. It sucks. It's like the big neon sign in the room that says "I have a problem". While I do buy organic foods and eat mostly clean...I over eat. Eating healthy isn't really eating healthy if you're a total glutton like me and can't stop. And sometimes that "organic" label can play tricks with your head. Organic macaroni and cheese may be free from dyes and chemicals, but if you eat the entire batch all by yourself, you're still going to gain weight. That's my problem. I thought going organic would fix everything. It didn't. Because I was the problem. So, what's the solution? Weight Watchers? Atkins? South Beach?

No.

The solution is not found in a "diet". The solution is found in a lifestyle change. A big one. Trust me, I've tried every diet under the sun and they only work as long as you allow them to. When you lose your weight and go back to "normal" eating, the weight comes back. Losing the weight is the starting line, not the destination. Maybe if we all viewed it that way, things would be different.

So, here I am at my highest weight. It's a miserable feeling. It's like my deep dark dirty secret...only it's not so secret, because I wear it every day for the world to see. Why am I writing this? I'm writing this as my declaration that I am DONE with this battle. Sometimes we make life too hard on ourselves. Sometimes we keep struggling with our issues instead of just dismissing them and standing up to them. I am SO guilty of this in multiple areas of my life. Your weight loss battle can end today. It ends when you decide it's over. It's not easy, in fact for me, it's the hardest thing I have ever done. But I've learned that on days when I am weak, God is strong. He will be the one to carry me through my struggle, not me.

Ok, enough of the depressing stuff. Let's get to the positive part...

I'm feeling great this week. I decided my lifestyle needs a change and I'm going for it. I started writing a food journal. Now, this is not where I record everything I eat and keep track of it. I actually plan my entire menu before going to the store. I write down the entire week's worth of meals and snacks. Each day is already planned out before I even start my day. I refer to my meal plan, and I stick to it. Is it easy? It's easier than I thought, but there are some days when a serving size just isn't enough and I want more. That's the hard part for me. I was a binge eater. It was an addiction. So, denying an addiction is a very hard thing. But it's possible. :)

I also drink Grapefruit essential oil in my water daily. I am currently doing a challenge with my Young Living team to drink a gallon of water a day for 6 weeks. This has helped a ton. Drinking water not only hydrates me, but it fills me up. I don't feel as hungry. The Grapefruit oil has helped cleanse and detox my body. I've also noticed my nails are growing faster than they used to, and I have more energy. 

If food has been a struggle for you, I hope you have found encouragement in this post. My next step in my lifestyle change will be finding a work out plan, but for now I'm just trying to tackle my issues with food. Baby steps. ;) Just know, wherever you are in your struggle, you're not alone. In my next post I'll be giving an example of my meal plan, so stay tuned. ;)

Essential Oils Class

Have you ever wanted to attend an essential oils class, but couldn't make it? I decided to make it convenient for everyone and record an online class. Watch it here

To order Young Living essential oils, visit my website at www.youngliving.org/dstrunk